Are Intelligent Men More Sexy?

We have recently had a debate in the office (the usual tea break deliberation) about the attractiveness of intelligent men and what it is that creates that sexual allure that many of us find compelling in the bedroom.

Now I have never been a fan of the beef cake or the David Beckham where poor eloquence is made up with perfect masculine honing. In my younger days my crush was Louix Theroux who although looks like a slightly geeky Oxford academic used to get me juicy wet watching weird weekends in my room. Another crush was John Thaw as Inspector Morse (I have since found out shared by many) the intellectual, Opera loving, classic car driving Inspector we all secretly wanted to conquer and overcome in a sexual frenzy accompanied to one of his usual operatic choruses on full pelt (Ok that was just my fantasy I digress).

The question is what drives the sexual desire for the 'thinking women's crumpet'?

One theory is that intelligence is associated with success so psychologically we are attracted to an Alpha Male who author Mark Prokosch PHD says " ensures material benefits now, and later could pass on these desirable traits to his offspring".

I'm not entirely buying the basic human urge to produce more intelligent children line and instead simply base the urge to fuck an intelligent man on the various sexual receptors he gives off, usually unwittingly.

Eloquence is sexy there is no denying, when a man can manipulate his tongue in ways that stimulate your mind it also stimulates the loins.

The mind and body are inextricably linked and eloquence can be foreplay to many, a sex toy for the mind. Intelligent men also tend to exude a confidence that proves irresistible. Without an egoism this can prove a very powerful aphrodisiac which turns on us girls.

They say knowledge is power and for us thinking girls it holds a sexual power we find achingly alluring.

Sex Toys with character-Cute or Creepy

Bunnies, fish, dolphins, mice, hardly things that spring to mind when you are ruminating objects of masturbation, but there has long been a tradition of sex toys fashioned from cute characters to grab our attention. One woman's 'must have' is anothers cheesy and downright weird but these lovable vibrating characters are certainly here to stay and here is our pick of the cutest.

1. Hello Kitty - The ultimate sex toy for those that wish to deny that they enjoy rubbing vibrating implements on their genitalia. The Hello Kitty Vibrator has to be a classic and we would probably suggest collectors item rather than practical sex toy. With more creases than Gordan ramsey's face there is a hygiene issue but if you love all that's cute and girly and the idea of masturbating with an iconic girl's toy floats your boat then Hello Kitty's for you.

2. I Rub My Duckie is the cute bath time accessory with hidden vibrator ability. An excuse to take long baths with plenty of bubbles and the door firmly locked. I Rub My Duckie would have got the top spot for practicality but doesn't quite have the cute factor for the number one vibrator slot.

3. Mini Mini Mouse from Doc Johnson has to be the sweetest little thing you have seen. Beady eyes and cute pointy ears. Don't be fooled though as this thing goes like stink. A clitoral vibrator as cute baby mouse, some might say strange we say its a turbo bullet in disguise, go with it.

4. Ramsey Rabbit from Rocks Off definitely my favourite sex toy in the cute category. Sweet and obliging with silicone ears to tantalise and tease. The vibrations are brilliant as Ramsey Rabbit is actually housing the RO 80mm bullet with all its clitoral vibrator potency.

5. Mini Dolphin Vibrator from Fun Factory doesn't immediately just out at you as the most novel of sex toys but its sleek silicone dolphin shape and smiley face does it for the cute factor. True to form with Fun Factory toys the Mini Dolphin is quiet and powerful so full points for practicality too.

The Dildo Debate

Here at the office this afternoon we have had the great dildo debate (well its nearly a long weekend). After much deliberating we have formed two distinct factions, the soft or solid groups.

Now we all want our dildos hard as ultimately that's the aim of the game but the great divide occurs when it comes down to the material used. Jelly, latex and rubber dildos are soft & tactile but being porous are harder to keep clean and absorb lubricant at a much faster rate. "Wait" cried the softies (hence forth named) Silicone dildos are gloriously soft and skin like, will warm to your body temperature in a flash, contain no chemicals and can be put in the dishwasher for a super duper sterile hot wash.

The solids argue that glass dildos have similar qualities being hypoallergenic, non-porous and dishwasher safe. The glass dildo can also be cooled as well as warmed and they get the aesthetes vote with their array of beautiful colours and swirls. Ceramic and wooden dildos are also more of a sensual art form and are extremely durable if cared for properly. The seasoned dildo users argue that the solid dildo is better at reaching the g spot as the harder material applies better pressure to our pleasure zone.

Hard, soft which dildo do you prefer?

Bums Like Barbie

There is a tendency to jump on every intimate product offered to us ladies of which there are many new products and consumables every month. I had noticed other stores offering anal bleaching kits of late and was approached by a pharmaceutical company last month with a range of 'body enhancing' products for women of which a 'bum bleach' was the main line.

I had heard of this procedure gaining momentum in the States, whereby women visit there cosmetic surgeon for an anal lightening session. It appears there are more sparkly white, self obsessed ass holes in LA than you think. So over it comes and us ladies can now purchase the privilege of a bum hole as bright as Barbies without visiting a surgeon.

Don't we have enough to feel insecure about? Obviously not, now we have to compare the colour of our anus, developing a nation of teenage girls bending over backwards in a full length mirror lamenting over the shade of their asshole.

Who is it for? I certainly don't preoccupy myself with the hue of my ass and if your partner is lucky enough to get up close and personal the last thing he's doing is whipping out a colour chart and sizing up the shade of your sphincter.

One anal bleach manufacturer offers a 'more youthful appearance' for your anal area, as if the compliments will soon start flooding in (must remember to bend over with legs apart in Gym changing room just to show off my babies bum).

So sorry you won't be seeing anal bleach on my shelves we will save it for porn stars close ups and the grossly self obsessed. Am I the only person to see the irony in becoming anal about your anus?

PS: Joking aside if you decide to sparkle the starfish please choose a less harsh variety as long term use of these chemicals on your anus can actually cause a loss of natural pigmentation. The carcinogenic content of some bleaching kits can cause liver failure, cancer, mercury poisoning and misuse can leave serious chemical burns. Enjoy!

Masturbation on Prescription

The electrically powered vibrator was invented by a Matthew Henley for the treatment of female hysteria, therefore the vibrator was conceived as a medical instrument rather than the sensual object we love today.

Female hysteria is an interesting one the symptoms including, bloating, anxiety, irritability, insomnia and a 'tendency to cause trouble'.

The remedy for this 'hysteria' was a pelvic massage, yes you have it a bloody good rubbing to the genital area.

So lets get this straight, the vibrator was in fact invented to masturbate women who attended the doctor in victorian times with pre-menstrual syndrome.

It was documented that doctors found this a 'chore' and 'time consuming' and at no time was the practice alluded to as sexual in nature.

At a time when sexual repression was rife amongst polite society you could in fact attend the doctors with raging PMS and get a free fanny rubbing with a vibrator to melt all of those niggling symptoms away. Whatever's happened to the NHS!

The Vagina Doctor Juicing Her Mangos

Samantha Bachman (AKA The Vagina Doctor) has been travelling the globe for many years working on behalf women in third world countries in relation to vaginal hygiene, sex education and menstrual issues.

Her journey into Africa introduced her to the practice of female genital mutilation and so began her global action to bring attention to, and erase this barbaric practise.

What better way to grab our attention than with The Mango Juicer, a sex toy like no other, able to juice mango's and juice your mango with its effective G Spot curve to the tip. Its cunning disguise enables its transit into countries where religious and cultural belief prevents the use of sex toys and female masturbation.

Profits are donated to charities working towards eradicating the practice of female genital mutilation so a much worthy purchase for any supporter of human rights and juicing mango's.

Male Sex Stats

Some interesting sex statistics on the opposite sex:

50% of men share all of their sexual fantasies with their partner.
We assume the other 50% are wanking away to thoughts of your best friend or a menage a trois with you and your sister.

20% have told a woman they love her just to get laid
You dirty scoundrels although it begs the question why we would believe professions of absolute love on the first few dates?

23% of men have faked an orgasm during sex more than once
Lets hope its 20% of the above it would serve them right

19% of men have paid for sex at least once

11% of men don't masturbate
Now come on we all know that's just what you told the nice lady with the clipboard

iCome MP3 Vibrator

'If music be the food of love play on' how times have changed when music can now be the source of orgasmic pleasure. You suspect that Duke Orsino may have got his girl had he presented her with an iCome vibrator that pleases the lady with rhythmic waves of vibrating pleasure by buzzing to the beat.

The iCome vibrator plugs into either a MP3, PC or CD Player and delivers vibrations in synch with your music of choice. Whether you opt for Mozart or Metallica raising the volume or changing the tune will alter the vibration pattern.

Who's knows it may dictate a complete change in musical taste - thrash metal it is then!

Happy Slapping

The enjoyment of pain and pleasure has long been part of the adventurous partners sexual repertoire and bondage at the boudoir has become a popular area for the couples looking to spice up their sex life. Wicked tease and tickles are a great way to raise sensitivity on the skin and a saucy spank helps to get the adrenalin pumping and speed up blood flow to your genitals for heightened sensation.

The line between pleasure and pain is a fine one so follow these rules for naughty happy slapping.

1. Using whips and paddles is best in a relationship where an element of trust is prevalent. It would be fool hardy to enter into bondage play with somebody you don't know that well.

2. Practise with a new toy on yourself to get the measure of its effect. Spank your hand or thigh to tell how much force to employ.

3. Men have thicker skin than women (yes we mean in a literal sense). A woman's nerve endings are closer to the surface than men's making them more susceptible to pain which should be bore in mind during play.

4. A better way to use bondage toys is to intersperse slaps with tickles and whips with strokes. The contrast in sensation will benefit you more in both pain and pleasure quarters.

5. Spank the thighs and buttocks, never the front upper torso or front of the body. If it turns you on whips, paddles and crops should only tease and stroke the genitals not strike for obvious reasons!

The Madonna Nudes

The Impure Art Gallery in Brighton is showing the original black and white photographs of Madonna taken by photographer Martin Schreiber.

The photographs reflect a period when a young Madonna spent a short time with Schreiber modelling for the photos to pay her way through dance school. There are fully nude photographs displaying the dancers enviable honed and toned body.

The photos reflect a more vulnerable girl before the mega star material girl we know today with Madge collecting just $30 for the modelling.

The limited edition photographs will be on sale at the exhibitions as well as copies of the original playboy magazine in which they featured.

Impure Art is Britain's only permanent commercial erotic art gallery and has been established a year. The exhibition opens as part of Brighton's Fringe Festival and runs from May 1st-June 28th.

For more info visit http://www.impureart.com/.