It can be incredibly difficult in a relationship to synch
your libidos. Lots of times the urge to have sex depends on stress levels,
hormones, time of life and fitness levels. All too often one of the partnership
feels horny whilst the other would rather grab a cuppa and catch up with their
favourite soap on the sofa. Part of the success of a relationship is down to
physical intimacy and sexual bonding so what should you do if you are feeling
amorous when your partner isn’t?
During prolonged periods of lost libido it’s not unusual for
one of the couple to turn to masturbation or self pleasure and this is fine as
long as it’s not the only outlet for sexual pleasure and tension. If you do not
feel up to a full sexual act its actually incredibly bonding to carry out the
manual method of pleasure for your partner. It may lead to sex or it may not
but the main point is that there is an element of sharing when it comes to the
intimate act. Just because you are not feeling horny yourself it doesn’t have
to mean that you don’t want your partner to enjoy an orgasm.
Using props such as a clitoral vibrator for her or a male
masturbator for him can add an extra stimulus and take away from the routine
nature of the job. Don’t be shy about experimenting with all types of sexual
release; your partner will enjoy it all the more if you lend a hand to
proceedings.
It might be that you both need extra stimulus to bring
you around to the same timeline when it comes to sexual urges. Using erotic
fiction or porn can be a fabulous way of getting you in the mood and thinking
about sex more inevitably prompts more sex. Try plugging in your headphones on
the train ride into work with some naughty fiction playing or indulge in some
sexy music. Wear stockings when you would ordinarily throw on the tights and
remember to spray a little perfume after your shower. Often it’s a culmination
of small but significant things that help to make you feel sexy and it could do
the trick in you both wanting an early night!
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