The Question Of Sex Education

I have worked at The Boudoir for 4 years and have listened to many women talk about how they struggle to enjoy orgasm. At the same time over the past couple of years my 14 year old daughter has been attending sex education at school (sorry PHSE). Why are women so good at faking orgasm? Because sex education from the age of 12 teaches us all the methods of procreation without explaining about how to enjoy sex as recreation. Only with sexual experience do many women realise that although the text book motions are gone through an orgasm can be a long time coming if it ever graces us with its arrival at all. Biology may form an important part of sex education, but considering the number of times you actually try for a baby (in some cases never) and how often you enjoy sex as a pleasurable pursuit wouldn’t it be prudent to really explain to girls how to enjoy their body. Confidence in your body engenders a self-knowledge and self-respect that can only be positive to females, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Never once is a girl shown in an educational environment which part of her body needs attention for orgasm and instead the quality of information received is dependant on how lucky you are in the parental communication or sensible friend stakes.  

What a con! Mrs Lockyear never mentioned the clitoris in year 2 when she was showing us how to put a condom on a banana.

My best friend showed me her clitoris under a drama box when she was 13 and told me she used a plethora of apparatus to stimulate it. She wanted me to ask my mum if it was ok, which I did and luckily she told us it was healthy to enjoy your own body but be careful with the apparatus – good old mum!    

There seems to be two types of sex education, the first anatomical/biological version that ensures the proliferation of the planet (as we are so desperately in need of more people) and the second experiential lessons you learn (good ones if you are lucky) about how to enjoy your body alone or with a partner.

It may not be high on the agenda at the moment but wouldn’t we benefit from a re-think on the sex education front? 

My Valentine

I was rushing into work this morning and bumped into an acquaintance of mine who insisted in stopping for a chat. Conversation rolled around to Valentines day and she said that after 28 years of marriage her husband bought her two dozen red roses. He had quite blatantly got it wrong! This lady has no idea I work with sex toys which was even more amusing considering she told me that for weeks she had been dropping hints that she desired a vibrator. Adamant that she had even given him direction on the type of vibrator she wanted, the blooms when they arrived, were in fact something of a disappointment.      
Often the pressure of Valentine can make a potentially positive event fall flat on its face. The build up, pressure to perform, choosing the right gift, communicating the correct sentiment or longing to make the day or night the best the other person has experienced can lead to anxiety rather than the revelry you had envisaged.
This year I asked my husband for nothing, in fact I made it quite clear that I didn't even want a card.
Why?
If in the morning he leaves the house before I'm awake he leaves me tea in a cup with sugar, spoon and loving note. If he pops out for milk or the papers there are times he comes home with hand tied flowers. If I look tired he makes the effort to take over my tasks and cooks dinner more times to mention. These things are given to me 52 weeks of the year with no pressure or burden and mean more than an annual obligation to proffer some chocolates or over priced flowers. When it comes to sex the build up can often leave the event flatter than your attempt at Delia's Valentine Souffle. Over indulgence can leave you lethargic or reaching for the Rennie's rather than the erotic rub. The best sex I have ever had came from an unexpected spark of lust derived from a kiss, look or sweep of the hand across the thigh.
Tonight I am making some special time with my partner outside of the normal routine but in a relaxed way with a few naughty accessories of my choosing. No big gestures or fantastic display of opulence just an intimate evening that nods its head to the interest we have in pleasing each other. Whatever you are doing tonight remember to relax and Enjoy x