My conversation with Mr R

I took a call from a gentleman the other day and we had a lengthy discussion about his sex life. The couple had been married for many years and Mrs R, his wife, had never had an orgasm during sex. Mr R was very keen to spice up the marriage and pleasure his wife in a way he felt he hadn't before. The ensuing effort had led to his purchase of sexy outfits (although she insisted in turning off the lights to emerge from the ensuite), a rabbit vibrator he had brought from us 4 months prior and a lubricant to use during sex. Mrs R hadn't enjoyed the rabbit vibrator although Mr R had loved using it on her, she felt the rotating shaft was unnatural and hadn't enjoyed the experience. Our conversation lasted for 1/2 an hour and at the end I really felt for Mr R, he loved and wanted his wife but felt he always seemed to miss the mark when it came to her sexual satisfaction.

He knew that she used sex toys alone as he found various women's toys in her drawer so why hadn't they succeeded in enjoying them together? It really only boils down to one thing; communication.
It seemed Mrs R had become accustomed to not having an orgasm with her husband and enjoyed a collection of vibrators when he left the house. It had become a habitual pattern of behaviour whereby they enjoyed the intimacy of sex but Mrs R only expected to experience the joy of orgasm during self pleasure. A sexy outfit is always top of the 'improve your sex life list' but in reality dressing up the outside isn't going to improve a sex life which needs working on from the inside. Opening up communication, letting go, trusting your partner, experimenting and demonstrating what it is that you find pleasurable are the list toppers.

'Spice up your sex life' its a women's mag cliche, but number one top of the list is not to light a few candles and rub in some massage oil but to TALK. I understand that this can be difficult, some people just aren't comfortable talking about their sexual preferences but little steps eventually take you a long way and sometimes grabbing a rabbit and donning suspenders just isn't going to break down a sexual routine built up over many years.

What did I suggest to Mr R? Well for practical advice, instead of a rabbit vibrator (he brought the thruster anyway!) I suggested a clitoral vibrator for his wife and gave him a few positions to adopt so that she could integrate her usual clitoral massage when they made love. We chose a cock ring to keep him harder to the longer sessions and a vibrating ring to use in the missionary position. I suggested he leave the sexy outfits until they were both comfortable with a new approach and that he ask her about the ways in which she pleasures herself with some direction on his technique.

A great sex life isn't just about the earth shattering orgasms but the intimacy and trust it can create which very quickly benefit all areas of your life. Enjoy!

Oh and good luck to Mr R, you have got to love the man for trying!